i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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