Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I didn't notice because vodka
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm always down for nudity.
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