Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
