so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
