i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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