I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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