Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
