I got chris browned last night
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
