Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
someone owes me an orgasm
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You pole danced in your parka.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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