Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
