Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
