How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
