I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
