I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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