My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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