ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Boobs are out for the taking
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize