I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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