My friends, they love my intelligence
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
