he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
