Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
