last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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