Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
