she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
