how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
