the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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