you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
