She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
