Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
