fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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