filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
