feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
