i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
