you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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