So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
