??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
