I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
