I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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