I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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