Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize