I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
