If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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