he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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