There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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