Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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