I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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