she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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