Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
