I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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