Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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