Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
