i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
