Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize