This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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