i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
