did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
