You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
