Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
