it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
