dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
