That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
