i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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