Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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