She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
